PONDERING

It leaves me thinking
about so many things
why am i so easily hurt
why do i let others get the best of me
why do i crave to be loved
but fear that i am not
why do i think things in my mind
but am afraid to say them
why am i desperate to keep someone close
yet certain i am driving them away
why am i so ready to love and give it so easily
when i am sure i'm not worthy of the love in return
why do i want someone to love me when at times i'm not even sure i like me
why do i let people take advantage of me, even when i know that they are
why can't the future be here now
why can't i be there now
why am i so damaged
why am i so certain everyone else sees me as damaged goods too
whyyyyyyyy?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?