damaged

she did it to me again

ambushed me

i never saw it coming

and i'm weaker again

damaged

and i find myself crying "i'm not like her, i'm not like her"

but i'm so scared i am

why is she so god damned blind! How does she not think she's damaged us???

I fight every day not to be like her

not to chase him away

to trust him completely

yet i prepare, for the inevitable loss sometimes

no one wants damaged goods

i spend my time apologizing for who i am

i spend my time worrying about something that isn't there

i don't want to be like her

i don't want to be alone because i'm great a fucking things up

i wanted more for my children than she gave me

and yet....i couldn't get that right either

and now .... i worry for the loss of near perfection i have at this time

you see...today she told me i'm just like her

and i'm going to end up just like her

and he's going to leave....just like it happened to her

today i feel hopeless, helpless